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Happy Challenge (Day 21) 

Expectations are not bad, but they can be dangerous. Expectations can push you to dream big, or they can ruin an experience you would have otherwise loved.

Expectations can rob a person of the chance to prove themselves. It can ruin would-be relationships (both romantic and friend) by never allowing the the new to shine through.

They can prevent us from doing enjoyable things for fear of failure, embarrassment or displeasure. How many times have you chosen not to join your friends because someone you don’t enjoy is going to be there. Your expectation is that they will ruin your good time. But in reality… you ruined your own good time by not going… or by going and waiting, looking, and expecting them to do something to ruin your night.

Expectations can ruin our drive and motivation. They can make us quit (or want to quit) or feel like we have failed simply because we do not meet the expectations we have in our minds. 

Put your expectations aside when you can. Let your first date run through without expecting anything. Without expecting the person to do or be anything. Let things happen the way they should instead of trying to fit your life into the square hole of your expectations.

Let the only expectation you have be that you can expect for everything to be different from what you expect.

(Miss a previous day’s Happy Challenge? Click here for the 30DHC archive.)

Happy Challenge (Day 18)

Today’s challenge revolves around the “bucket list.”

Today, I want you to actually write up your bucket list. Write it out by hand or type it up online. Put down EVERYTHING. Want to be an Astronaut? Put it down on paper!

If you dream about it, write it down. This includes things you’ve already done. Especially things you never thought you could do. (Yes, running a mile without wanting to die totally counts) 

Once you get it all down on paper, I want you to organize it several different ways.

1. Put it in the order from most likely to least likely to accomplish
2. Put it in order from your biggest dream to the one you care about the least
3. Put it in order from least expensive to most expensive to complete

Now that you’ve looked at all the things on your bucket list from several different angles and written them 4 times through (hopefully enough times to make you really think about them) I want you to pick one and begin putting plans into motion to complete that item.

I mean it. 

Don’t just think about it. Write down what needs to be done in order to accomplish the dream and start doing it. Maybe it means opening a savings account and setting aside money every week or month. Maybe it means taking a class at night at a local community college. Maybe it means buying a musical instrument or a book on a foreign language. 

Whatever you need to get your plan in motion… today is that day. Nothing is in your way other than your own negative thoughts. Brush them away like sand from your hands: it’s time your bucket list becomes your life story! 

(Miss a previous day’s Happy Challenge? Click here for the 30DHC archive.)

Happy Challenge (Day 16) 

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Really.

There are some days you’ll find that the most important question you can ask yourself is this:
“In the grand scheme of things, in the big picture of my life, does this really deserve the level of stress I am assigning it?” 

Think about it. Really asses the situation. Then answer yourself as honestly as possible.

So often in our lives we allow all these little things to assume the role of big things. They aren’t. Flat tire? No clean laundry? Forgot to do your homework? Forgot to pick up something at the market?

So what?

Don’t let something little like that determine your outlook for the day. Because if the little things throw off your groove every day, then you won’t have any good days to look back on. 

(Miss a previous day’s Happy Challenge? Click here for the 30DHC archive.)

Happy Challenge (Day 15)

Since it’s Easter, I thought I would bring up family stress. 

There is this strange obligation with family. The ability to simultaneously love a person and yet wanting to watch them get hit by a bus is never seen more strongly than between family members.

Some people think that because you are family that they can say anything they like to you, no matter how hurtful. Sometimes we feel that because they are family, we have to let it pass. “suck it up” “take it like a man.” Well, I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to take verbal abuse. Not from anyone. If you would ditch a friend for the very same words or actions then you need to have a serious talk with the family member that’s acting out of line. You don’t have to attempt to eliminate the person from your life, but you need to explain to them that a blood tie doesn’t grant them immunity. Be adult about it. Be respectful. Let them know that it hurts you, makes you uncomfortable, or makes you question your worth. 

Making peace with your family may be one of the greatest things you ever do for yourself. Put in all the thought and effort you have, really try to make it work. If it doesn’t work, try talking to another family member about it and have all three of you sit down and discuss it. If that still doesn’t work, then you may need to consider removing yourself from the situation.

Everyone deserves a healthy relationship with their family, but often, you have to work for it. Put in the work and get the reward.

Enjoy your Easter and be HAPPY!!!! :D

(Did you miss a previous day’s Happy Challenge? Click here for the 30DHC archive.)

Happy Challenge (Day 14)

Don’t be afraid to see positive where others only see negative.

All my life, I have loved the Dandelion. If I could claim a “power flower” the dandelion would be it. They (along with pretty much any “weed”) have amazing resilience. They grow where the more delicate and lovely flowers dare not. They are sprayed with poisons and chemicals year after year yet still they come back. They reappear every spring and show their happy little yellow faces all summer. The blooms make a delicious and sweet wine. The leaves are tasty in salads or tea and the roots are a potent laxative. In the fall, they turn into white tufts and we can blow them into the sunset, watching them carry our wishes off into forever.

They are magical! Yet… everyone hates them. Why? Who taught us to despise the things that persevere? Stop thinking negative things you’ve been told to think. Question your thought process when it turns to the negative. “WHY do I have a problem with this thing?” “WHY does this thing elicit this negative response/emotion from me?” Was it just something you learned after seeing it from your family, friends and media? Were you taught to think that way? Rethink it.

Beauty is everywhere… especially if you don’t let anyone else define it for you.

(Did you miss a previous days happy challenge? Click here for the 30DHC archive.)

Happy Challenge (Day 11 and 12)

Today is a double challenge. Not to make up for yesterday, but because they go hand in hand.

Today I want to help eliminate the need for lies. So much of our happiness is dependent on stress and our ability to cope with it. How can we ever hope to lead stress free (or at least minimally stressful) lives if we feel the constant need to alter the truth?

Once you change a truth, you must continue to do so until you decide to confess your lie or until the day you die. That’s some serious baggage to carry around. How many different lies and half truths do you need to keep track of to keep your life in order? You need an entire hard drive to keep it all straight if you actually sat down to write every single lie down. Who you told it to, why, what you said, what you used it to cover up, how many more times you had to tell it or build off it to continue hiding the truth…

So today, in our quest for happiness, we resolve to stop the lies. Small lies, big lies, pointless lies… stop. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the truth. I know. I get it. But it’s better to hurt someones feelings with the truth than to give them false hope. Hope should always be real. And just because a truth is negative, doesn’t mean there isn’t a positive side, find it and report it along with the negative.

Part two for today’s challenge is to confess the lie. (I have done this religiously with my mom for years. When I think of it… I tell her. Email, phone, face-to-face. Whatever. “Hey mama, remember that time _____? Well… here’s what really happened.” It’s okay. People who matter will understand. You may get a whap in back of the head, but you’ll feel better knowing you don’t have to carry the lie with you anymore.) How ever you feel comfortable confessing. Maybe you feel less vulnerable by posting it (to no one in particular) on Facebook or Twitter or G+ or tumblr. Maybe you feel the lie was so big it deserves a hand written and snail-mailed letter. It doesn’t matter. Wash the lie away with the truth. There is nothing in the world more powerful than truth and honesty, even when it’s ugly and painful. No one likes to be lied to. I don’t. You don’t. Your loved ones don’t. Muster your courage and free yourself.

(Did you miss a previous day’s Happy Challenge? Click here for the 30DHC archive.)

Often times we become so caught up in what we do that we fail to notice that we’re making it more difficult than it needs to be.

Sometimes happiness comes from something so easy as simplifying your life. It may not even be something you notice as difficult. Maybe your schedule is working against you and you don’t realize it (How many times do you drive by the supermarket on your way home from school/work, but you wait til you get home and then drive back to do your shopping?) Maybe you can’t ever find something you need because the drawer/cupboard/cabinet/closet is too much of a mess and you get mad and throw things around in frustration. Maybe you don’t use the proper tools for the job because you never thought there might be an easier way. Find out! Google search! Find easier ways to do the things you do every day! 

The time in your life is precious and it should be utilized as best you can. Don’t squander a single minute by doing things the hard way. These are your minutes!

Try making a list of your daily obligations. Include how many times you hit the snooze, brushing your teeth, washing your hair… everything. Then find ways to simplify the little things. Maybe you can make enough food for the week then pack a lunch the night before so you are ready to go in the morning. (Yay! Now you can sleep for extra minutes guilt free!) Plan out meals, schedule housework. Use a virtual or a paper calendar and make everything visible. It’s amazing how much stress you can relieve from your daily life when you aren’t in a panic because you forgot about XYZ thing. 

Albert Einstein once said “Make things as simple as possible, but no simpler.” I believe this is exactly how life should be. Some things are innately difficult and other things are innately easy… Make sure that whichever it is, it is as simple as possible without breaking it down beyond it’s basic points.

Simplify, clean out clutter (physically and mentally) and give yourself room to breath by keeping a neat schedule.

(Did you miss a previous Happy Challenge? Click here to view the 30DHC archive.)

Happy Challenge (Day 9)

Let us talk of judgement. Whether or not we realize it, we constantly judge others. We judge their clothes, their speech, their skills, their bodies, their hair, their families, their grades, their choice in books, movies, pets and friends. When you really stop a moment to think about it… how do we have time for anything else in our lives?

I want you to think about that above statement for just a moment. 

Now I want you to think on this: What is judgement? What is it but a comparison to ourselves, what we know, love and are familiar with. How can we ever possibly be happy if we do nothing but compare other people to ourselves. Does it bring you happiness to notice that another does poorly where you excel? That another lacks where you do not? That should not be your source of happiness.

Conversely, if you compare yourself to people who are/have/do less than you, then surely you compare yourself to those who are/have/do more than you. This does not do anything for your self esteem.

So, next time you catch yourself making a judgement, no matter how small, stop. Think about it. Ask yourself why it matters. Does it? Probably not. Why care if the weird nerdy girl has mismatched socks? Why care if the tall skinny guy has pants that are a little too short? Why care if a beautiful girl has name brand clothes? Admiration is fine, but do not make judgments and assumptions, it will only bring you down.

Judgement is nothing but comparison and you are no one but yourself. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Are you a better person than when you fell asleep last night? That’s what matters. This life is yours and no one else’s.

The only time you should take a moment to judge is if you are going to follow it up with an offer of goodwill.

The less time you spend judging others the more time you will have to get to know them. 

(Did you miss a previous day’s Happy Challenge? Click here for the 30DHC archive!)