Ooooh, kind of chilly this morning. The sun will warm me up after a mile.

Damn… I forgot how much of my run is under the tree canopy. Brrrr. I’ll just run faster.

Oh holy hell: that hurts! What is that? Is that a muscle or a tendon? That’s definitely a muscle. That’s fine… muscles heal pretty quick… keep running. 

… am I limping? Absolutely not. No! I’m not limping.

Why do I do this to myself? Oh my god, I want to die.

Bonnie, you fool, you’re allowed to walk. 

What? Who the fuck told you that you could walk? You squishy, fluffy, stink flower… you are not walking! Pick up your feet, you pansy. If I hear your foot drag I’m beating you for an extra mile, you sparkle fruit.

Oh god, this sucks. I’m 6 miles from home. My leg is a mess and I still don’t understand why I do this to myself… ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch…

Oooooh, pick-up truck full of hay, you smell delightful. Oh look! Wow… the sheep farm is really pretty in the early AM. Oooooh, the hay truck is stopping to feed the sheep! YAY SHEEP!!! D’awwwww!!!!! They are all bleating and running to the hay man!! ::Squeeeeeeee:: OMG I love running!!!

LLAMA!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU, LLAMA!!!! 

What kind of fool passes up an opportunity like this?

Oh wow! A whole field of tiger lilies! They are sooo gorgeous!

Ooooh, honey suckle. Hmmm… should I stop and eat some? Nah, stopping is bad, just keep running and breath really deep. Besides, taste is 80% smell, so it’s almost as good as eating it.

HORSIES!! Hi horsies!!! … did you just fart at me? You DID! WTF horse? Well… see if I say hi to you again! Pffffff.

Oh wow, look at that field! It’s all golden and gorgeous and there is a single tree off in the middle. Wow. It’s like a post card. How did I miss that tree before? Man, I need to pay attention more. 

Actually… seriously. WTF? I don’t even know the name of the connecting streets here. What if I get hurt and have to call 911? I can’t even tell them where I am. That phone call would be just grand: “Oh hey, I’m somewhere on Old Miller… yeah… No I don’t freaking know where! Next to the field with the tree… What? No? Maybe? Yes? I don’t fucking know… just find me with your flashy lights and siren, okay.”

Oh my god, what if I get kidnapped? Oh, I have my tracking app running, they can find me that way. Oh wait… I don’t have the maps enabled for anyone but me so no one can know where I run. Damn you, double edged sword!!!

Ooooooh, lady slippers are in bloom. I love lady slippers.

Hmmm… what are those? Hot pink ground cover flowers, I love you even if I don’t know your name.

Ouch! F you, leg! Stop with the hurting. You suck. I can’t stop running, how the hell would I get home?

Oooooh, so many stone walls around here. I wonder how old they are? Maybe the Puritans built them. They are a protected structure around here. … Who the hell decided to protect stone walls? That’s so dumb. Kinda cool… but totally dumb. “Oh no! Don’t touch that wall! Some person built it while they tore up the land 400 years ago…” O_o

Eeeee!!! A deer! HI DEER!!!!! :D

Oooooooh, 5 mile marker. Whew, almost home. 3.5 more miles.

Seriously, leg, shut up.

::gasp:: Humming birds! HEY! Stop fighting, humming birds! There are plenty of trumpet flowers for all of you.

I love this cemetary. I wonder when the oldest stone is from? Oh wow, that one is from 1809. Hmmm… I should stop and look at that someday. Not today, though. Maybe I’ll come back with my bike and do that.

I wonder why I don’t mind stopping a bike ride to take pictures? I grant and deny myself permission slips for the dumbest shit. Hell, why should I stop to take pictures for lazy people? They’ll just have to run their sorry ass with my sorry ass if they want to see this super awesomeness. Yeah! Run with me!

No… don’t. Terrible plan. Me time. I like my me time. Maybe that’s why I run? Me and my brain, la la la. It’s like a 70’s television show theme. I’ll take my brain on a boat ride and have a parasol and a catchy yet terrible theme song…

Hmm, I wonder if those grape vines ever produce grapes? I always see them, but never any grapes. Stupid bugs eating them. Meh, I probably wouldn’t stop to eat them anyway.

Speaking of bugs, I didn’t get chased by the bitey flies this morning. Maybe I woke up before them? Ha ha, bitey flies. Neener neener neener!

Ahhhh, home stretch! .5 mile marker, I love/hate you. Why must you be uphill? I forgive you, though.

YAY!! I love you driveway! I am so happy to see you! I will RUN to you like I’ve never run to anyone else before. Maybe if I fart it will be a speed boost? Hee hee, I’m funny. 

Oh god, what is wrong with my brain? I’m like a crazy person. Oh well. Time to stretch. Oh, stretching feels soooooooo good right now. 

…. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz